Writing Wedding Vows – Dave Segal

Wedding vows

Writing wedding vows is often one of the main points of anxiety for couples. Couples have often googled options and sometimes tried to remember what other couples have said at their ceremonies.

Pen on a ceremony signing book for writing wedding vows

Writing Vows

What are wedding vows

Vows are the promises which couples make to each other during a wedding ceremony. For example ” I promise never to run off with Alan Kohler or Penny Wong”. Of course most couples won’t share the fears that I have of my wife so those vows are most likely to be strikingly different.

Wedding vows can often reflect the needs of the other person, needs which are identified through knowing someone intimately. For example “You are the only person I have ever felt who truly knows me, and I promise to be there for you in whatever way you need for the rest of my life”.

Above all, vows are personal, unique and special and can only come form you. As a result you should stay off google and think about your own life rather than mimicking what someone else has said.

How to write vows

First step is to stop thinking about writing wedding vows!

Think about your relationship with your partner and what your role is. Some other considerations for instance:

  • Think about your expectations? What are theirs?
  • What would hurt you & what would hurt them?
  • Are there things they do which bring you joy? What would bring them joy?
  • Make them realistic! Furthermore recognise that promises can be broken so the wording can include “I promise to always try to…”

Vows only need to reflect the meaning you are trying to convey this can usually be achieved in one or two sentences.


This is just a short article to get you thinking and to reduce some of the confusion around writing vows. Finally if you’d like to know more just get in touch by filling in the contact form .


Dave Segal

Canberra Marriage Celebrant